8 Things You Should Never Say To Your Husband

1. “You’re just like your father."

According to Womansday.com and many psychologists, this is a cruel way of poking at your husband's fear that he exhibits the worst traits of his father. He wants to be his own man!

2. “When are you going to find a new job?”

According to a leading marriage psychologist, a man evaluates himself partially on how he can take care of his family. Pestering him about when he is going to venture into the job hunt is akin to insulting his ability to take care of you and his children.

3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

 

This can be interpreted as ganging up on your spouse; by bringing your mother into the argument, you are establishing that there are others on your side of the issue, and that he is outnumbered.

4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!"

This can hurt your husband doubly, because it takes away from his ability to take care of his family, and it insinuates that he can't do something right - even something as simple as cleaning up or washing the dishes.

5. “You always... [fill in the blank]” or “You never... [fill in the blank]”

This sets the stage for a dramatic argument. When using generalizations like 'always' and 'never', the argument is usually untrue, and indicates that your husband doesn't give even a modest effort. This makes it easy for insults to be flung back and forth, especially once he realizes he can cite examples of times when those generalizations weren't true. ("Remember last week! I did pick up the kids...take out the trash...etc.)

6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

This kind of comment is hurtful, because it implies that he's putting on weight. Plus, it shows superficiality in the relationship. Why are you worried about the way he looks, rather than his health if he really is gaining weight?

7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?"

No one likes to be told who to be friends with, and your husband is no exception. It insults his choice in friends, which indirectly insults him. Why not say: "You know, I don't always like to do what you and your friends do. Maybe you two can have a guys' night out?"

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”

Don't make him afraid to be a dad. Shooting down his efforts by questioning his judgement like this is a sure-fire way to motivate him to NOT be a dad, rather than the other way around. You want him to be a partner in parenting, but what you might not realize is that you don't give him a chance. Sure, you're a nervous Mom, but a little trust can keep a marriage with kids going strong.